"f another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back" - Jesus (In Matthew 18:15 - New Living Translation).

This has got to be one of the most ignored scriptures by Christians everywhere (second only to Acts 2:38). Over and over and over and over and over I've witnessed Christians leave a church or stop attending because they are ticked off about something that was said or done to them by someone at church.

Instead of obeying Jesus and going to talk to the person that offended them and working the matter out, they just leave. They take a "consumer" mentality toward the church. That's the mentality in our culture that makes us say, "If I don't like something Wal-Mart does, I'll go shop at Kmart." And this mentality is brought into the church by Christians. They say, "If someone at my church says something I don't like, I'll go shop (worship) at another church."

But Jesus says Christians shouldn't act like this. We are called by God to love others, even when we disagree with them or they somehow fail us. And that means making an effort to reconcile relationships within the local church and not just dropping out when you get ticked off at someone.

What Christians who drop out of churches without attempting reconciliation don't realize is that their sin of anger and bitterness is just as bad if not worse than any sin committed against them. In fact, Jesus says if we are angry with a brother in Christ, we are just as subject to judgment as a murderer (see Matthew 5:21-22)! And when we go to the next church, we take that unresolved anger and bitterness with us and it will only flare up more quickly should anyone in the new place do something we don't like. After a while, we'll probably just drop out of church altogether convinced that all churches are just bad places.

The truth is that WE are the ones that are disobedient! We’ve disobeyed Jesus! We haven't made a serious attempt to talk and work things out with the person or people that offended us. Instead, in pride, we leave. And God says he opposes the proud (see James 4:6). He won't bless you in the new church, because you're still harboring bitterness towards someone in the last church and have made no effort to work it out with them. Do you think God's judgment of your anger will stop just because you went to a new church? No way! You're still in the same kingdom with the person you're mad at! And God expects effort toward reconciliation. If you don't make that effort, don't expect him to bless you.  You are still walking in disobedience to the command of the Son of God to reconcile with others who offend you!

My best advice to you is to stop bad-mouthing and blaming people at church that you perceive have wronged you and start talking to them to work things out. If you don't, you will be living in open sin by disobeying Jesus until you do.

Remember, we're all sinners and everyone makes mistakes. Stop being so judgmental and bitter and go work things out. Even if the person won't listen to you, you can have the peace of mind that you obeyed Jesus. But my experience is that most people DO listen and want to work things out. Very often, they don't even know they've wronged anyone. But regardless, we must make the attempt and forgive seventy times seven (See Matthew 18:22). That's God’s revealed will in the matter and it's not going to change.

So go and do it.